Episode 1 · October 30, 2026 · 10 min · with Shelly Shoultes
The Conversation We Keep Avoiding
Every one of us is going to die, and most of us will do almost anything to avoid talking about it. This episode is about making those decisions sooner, calmer, and on purpose.
Notes
In this episode: why we avoid the conversation, what quality over quantity can mean, the practical tools, and what dignity looks like at the end.
Three questions to sit with
- What matters most to you in a day? What would you need to still be able to do for life to feel worth it?
- What are you most afraid of? Pain? Being alone? Losing your mind? Dying in a hospital?
- If you couldn’t speak for yourself, who would you trust to speak for you?
The basics, in plain words
- Advance directive or living will: a written statement of the kind of care you do and don’t want if you can’t speak for yourself.
- Health care proxy, or power of attorney for health care: the person you name to make decisions for you.
- Do-not-resuscitate (DNR) and do-not-intubate (DNI) orders: instructions about CPR and breathing machines.
- Palliative care: care focused on comfort and quality of life, available alongside treatment.
- Hospice: comfort-focused care when a person is nearing the end of life, often at home.
Talk first. Write it down second. Tell your doctor third. Details vary by country and state.
Your homework
This week, have one small conversation with one person: “If something happened and I couldn’t speak for myself, what would you want me to know about what you’d want?” Then listen.